ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your
husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am
I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset
you?
WITNESS: My name is
Susan!
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS:
Gucci sweats and
Reeboks.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie
there.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at
all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does
it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY:
You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in
voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY:
Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You
do?
WITNESS: Yes,
voodoo.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did
you actually pass the bar
exam?
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is
he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your
IQ.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are
you shitting
me?
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing
at that time?
WITNESS: getting
laid
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
She had three children, right?
WITNESS:
Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS:
None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
W ITNESS: Your
Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new
attorney?
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By
death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it
terminated?
WITNESS: Take a
guess.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium
height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a
female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with
male.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I
dress when I go to
work.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much
of a
fight.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go
to?
WITNESS:
Oral.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:
The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton
was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I
finished.
______________________________
ATTORNEY:
Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you
qualified to ask that
question?
______________________________
And
the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed
the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:
No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood
pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for
breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is
possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so
sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my
desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have
still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible
that he could have been alive and practicing
law.
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