HAVE A LAUGH

V.W.'s good friend up North called to say he was sore.

I asked, "What happened?"

He said, " My wife hit me with a pot."

I said, "Why?"

He advised, "She demanded to go out to some place expensive, so I took her to a gas station. When we got home, she hit me with the pot."

SAFETY TIP: TELEPHONE SCAM

A friend up the street just showed V.W. Resident This story in the newspaper. Neighbors may recall a similar report a number of months ago. At that time the Sheriff's Office warned Collier County residents to B.O.L.O. (be on the lookout) for a specific scam in our area. Well they have repeated the warning regarding a scam aimed at elderly women. This is how it seems to work:

" The Scammer calls victim and states he is a Sheriff's Officer working on a "drug case." He tells the Lady he is an undercover Sheriff's Officer and out of contact with his HQ. He needs immediate help and asks her to assist him. She is requested to go to her bank and make a specific withdrawal. She is told to bring the funds to a public location, where the undercover officer will take her money. He will then "make a buy" and shortly thereafter make an arrest of the bad guy. Once the lady gives the "officer" her funds he leaves to make the false drug deal. At this point the lady has been "taken for a ride."

Most of the victims are recently widowed females, aged 80 years or older.

This past week the Collier Sherriff's Office has again asked residents to be aware of this Scam. The Sheriff has advised anyone getting such a call to notify his office at 793 9300 or crime stoppers at: 1 800 780 TIPS

TOWN CENTER TO HOST SEMINAR ON REFINANCING

V.W. Resident just made a trip to Town Center, and noted this posting advertising a seminar on July 30, 2008 at 1:00 pm.

The focus is on: monthly house payments, credit card bills. mortgage debt and more. Considering our "hurting" Economy, and the housing situation in SW Florida, this seminar appears to be one of interest.

The number for registering is 248 4049

V.W. will be there.

COUNTRYWIDE BANK HAS LEGAL PROBLEMS - BUT HOME SALES IMPROVING

This may be of interest to "friends and neighbors" here in "The Walk" if you have, or had, a mortgage with Countrywide Bank.

In Tallahassee, Attorney General Bill McCollum said, his office will pursue charges against Countrywide for "misleading and unfair trade practices." Other states, California and Illinois to be specific, earlier this year filed charges against the bank for "persuading homeowners to apply for "risky mortgages far beyond their means."

This is interesting as Countrywide is a huge nationwide money lender and their mortgages are part of our SW Florida environment. On the other side of the coin Naples' home sales are said to be improving, but at a lower average selling price.

FOLLOW UP TO "POST" ON REPLACEMENT PLANTS

A V.W. READER has asked who should be contacted regarding replacement plants within our community.

The best answer is to make a personal call to the office of the Town Manager.

A REAL "HIP" GUY

V.W. RESIDENT has this "friend" over on the next street. Sometimes this guy is a real "pain in the ..." Well neighbors, we can't say that anymore. It's no longer true.

This guy was a regular at Town Center's Seven Dollar Dances. He loved "chasing women," and getting them out on the floor to "shake it up a tad." As he did, i t became evident that he could only "shake it" at half speed. So a plan was developed: He would go "bionic;" bring the ladies into the house; and then make them feel like "The Queen (s) of the Hop."

The plan worked. V.W. Neighbor got a complete hip replacement. He is now into the second phase of his grand plan - "Dancing with the Stars."

XL Care ( 2640 Golden Gate Pkwy, Suite 206, Naples FL) was contacted to provide help with dance moves at the"local ballroom." Right from the start it was clear as to who leads. The ladies won that right. They also got to pick the dances. What a workout they gave teaching steps that "neighbor guy" never thought of - even in his dreams.

Eventually the dance ended and "neighbor guy" asked; "Can I walk you home." The answer was a definite Yes! Of course a swat on the backside with a cane, and getting yanked by the ear back into the house has to count as Y E S.

In the neighbor's opinion these ladies from XL Care were just excellent. They did their job well, and will alway be the "number one" memory of the recent surgery. Great job ladies.

TOM AND HUCK THINK ABOUT RAFTING THE MIGHTY "VERONA"

HEY, Mr. Twain. Does the Delaware flow into the Mississippi?

If so, how do these little guys get their "raft" from their home, down to the Gulf, and then over the "Mighty Verona."

It may take a few years, but they will be welcome in our little kingdom. All they need is a big sail and a dream. Thanks to V.W. Contributor for sending this great picture.